Birth Control

[camillusk]

Your 16 yr old daughter comes to you and says she wants to go on birth control. You know she has a steady boyfriend. Would you take her to get it? (Answer yes or no for the poll and then tell me why you would or wouldn't in a post.)

[AllCutieWants]

Of course I would. I would rather not kid myself and think she wont do whatever she wants no matter what I said to her. I would just hope that talking to her and telling her the facts will help her make the right decision. But if that didnt work, I would rather have her protected so that she woulnt get pregnant at 16. I will stress that the pill isnt not 100% effective, and does not prtect her against STD's either. The mistake parents make is thinking that if they refuse to talk about it, or pretend that they dont know anything about it, that its just not a reality. Wake up people, I would rather her hear the truth from me, then some rumors that the other kids at school pass off as fact! I will also stress the fact that there are serious consequences that are associated with having sex. I will make her understand, and then test her to make sure she really listened to what I had to say.

Knowledge is very powerful, I dont care how young Zoe is, if she has questions, or if I think she is in a situation and needs to know something, I wont sugarcoat it.

[Davagator]

I would just as a precaution, since it appears she is about to make whoopie. However, I would have a heart-to-heart chat with her asking her to wait and I would even probably have her talk to a counselor. Then I would show her nasty pictures of what STD's can do to you.

Plus, i'd take that as a compliment. I think (fos) most 16 y/o's would be too embarassed or too scared to approach a parent about something like that.

[camillusk]

Although I would take it as a compliment as well, I would not take her. I would tell her that I appreciate her coming to me, but she is too young to be having sex and give her "the talk", probably show her some pics and stats and really try to make her understand and realize that she is not ready to have sex or a baby for that matter! After my spiel I'd let her know that if she still feels that she wants to have sex, then she will have to get protection/BC on her own because I am not okay with my 16 yr old having sex! (There are plenty of places that provide free protection/BC) I guess it seems hypocritical to me to say, I'm not okay with you having sex, but here's protection in case. Just my opinion!

[Nosenoddles]

I sure would!

First off, although I wouldn't want her having sex, and would be a little disappointed, its not up to me to decide for her when she is ready for sex.
I would have a long talk with her about std's and stuff. I figure that if she is asking for birth control, either she's already had sex or is about to. I also see not helping her as turning your back on her (since she is the one that asked), and she may not be so open with you in the future.

Just think, at age 15, 67% of children are having sex. I doubt a lot of these kids are going to go get birtch control on their own. I'm in my late 20's and still have a hard time going to get condoms....imagine what its like for a 16 year old.

[Davagator]

birtch?

[camillusk]

Oooo, this is a good topic! I actually have a co-worker going through this right now and she's up in arms about it. So, keep it coming - I wanna share some of our ideas!

Anyway, in reply, I wouldn't consider it turning your back on her when you've told her how you feel about it and have had the "sex talk" with her. She was up front with you (which I would let her know is appreciated) and you're being up front with her as an adult. And I know you can't watch your kids 24/7, but I also don't believe that it's up to her to decide when she's ready for sex when she's only 16. When they're that age, they think they're ready for alot of things that they're not. At least I know I did! As long as she's a minor and she's living under my roof, her decision making reaches a certain limit. If she came to you and said, hey, I think I'm ready to have a baby, would your reaction be the same? Would you say, okay honey, you came to me and you think you're ready, so go right ahead, I'll support you 100%. Because, if you're saying (or condoning) her having sex, you're also willing to let her take that chance of getting pregnant, aren't you?:-k

[Davagator]

So when is old enough?:-k

[superdude]

I couldn't vote on this one either. :-k

I'm torn on this. I see and understand both sides. I wouldn't want my kid having sex, but at the same time I know she'd probably do it anyways and I'm not ready to be a grandparent. :-k

[MrBlues]

In today's world 16 may be too late!!!

[Davagator]

sadly.

[crshoveride1]

A girl I went to school with had twins at 15. She's doing fine now but she was lucky that she had all the support she's had over the years. I couldn't imagine Zoe being that age now. Hell those kids are about in high school now :shock:

[Davagator]

:-k So, what was the outcome on this? Did she take her daughter to get BC or not?

[camillusk]

Nope, she didn't. She agreed with me - gave her the spiel and let her know she was glad she came and talked to her, but also let her know that she thinks she's too young and will not condone/support/take her to get bc! I give her a lot of credit. Guess the daughter respected her answer too. :smt023

[Davagator]

I tossed with around work, ya know with the social workers, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, lots of other moms and even housekeeping.There has been studies and long debates on this exact issue. :wink: Very interesting.

[Nosenoddles]

I mentioned it to serveral mothers I know, they all said that they'd get the kid BC but also tell them not to do it and yadda yadda. Most couldn't imagine not helping their child get the BC.

[crshoveride1]

respected it maybe... we'll just have to see if she decides to go get it herself under her parents insurance. Yes that IS legal. ( I've done it ) Or if she just decides to have sex without any other protection...:-k
Nope, she didn't. She agreed with me - gave her the spiel and let her know she was glad she came and talked to her, but also let her know that she thinks she's too young and will not condone/support/take her to get bc! I give her a lot of credit. Guess the daughter respected her answer too. :smt023

[camillusk]

I think the main job of parents is to raise their children with good morals and values, to teach them responsibility and to make them understand the difference between right and wrong. Obviously, you can teach them that and they still have to make their own decisions. Hopefully, they'll do the right thing most of the time, but sometimes they're going to do the wrong thing and will have to deal with the consequences. In this situation, it's the same. You have explained to your daughter that she is too young, and the consequences of having sex and hopefully she will make the right choice.

[Davagator]

Did you know that a child as young as 12 can have medical treatment done without parental consent, and that the doctors or whoever do not have to tell the parents. Now thats scary!

[camillusk]

:shock: That is scary! I didn't know that.

[AllCutieWants]

Just an interesting News article kinda related to this topic....

A 16-year-old Richmond boy was charged with felonious assault of a pregnant woman in Macomb County juvenile court on Thursday.

The teen was charged under a 1999 state law that prohibits intentional conduct against a pregnant individual resulting in a miscarriage, Local 4 reported.

After an investigation, police determined that prior to a miscarriage in November, the 16-year-old -- with the consent of the 16-year-old mother -- may have attempted to abort the fetus.

"Without getting graphic, it involved a baseball bat," said Macomb County Prosecutor Eric Smith.

Smith said the male youth hit the pregnant teen in the abdomen with a decorative-type wooden baseball bat every other day for three weeks.

After the miscarriage, the teens buried the fetus behind the home where the boy lives with his family on Armada Ridge Road in Armada Township, police said.

The teens' parents said the children were desperate and afraid.

"This is a very tragic situation. Two very good children thought that the one thing that they couldn't come to us with was this pregnancy. It's a shame," said the father of one of the teens.

[camillusk]

That's really sad. Exactly why kids that age should not be having sex! It's too bad the kids were afraid to go to their parents too.